Other - Café Con Monica

On Symbiosis Gathering….

September 24, 2015

I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am that I took this trip with my friend. It was our first overnight/camp type festival and it was the perfect one!

My friend Mel and I went to High School together and then she moved on to NYC then off to Utah. She was supposed to be married this year and I was supposed to go to the wedding in Cabos. She cancelled and called me up asking if I wanted to go to a festival in September. Of course, I said yes! and so the prep & party began…

In Oakland at Walmart getting supplies before the 2 hour drive!

Early arrival so we could camp right next to the water in Reserved Car Camping!

Our set up!

Just hanging out drinking tea and watching people get set up

hanging out in one of the leaf sculptures!

The view 🙂

It really was amazing. I have never been to a festival where people were so kind, so happy and so eclectic. The location, the set up, the art, the music, everything came together in a way that just made you want to take a second to sit down and appreciate what you were experiencing.

The types of classes being offered! You know how I love Tiny Homes!

Getting our henna done!

This is how we found our camp every night…this awesome helicopter was on a trailer and could actually be driven.

The Jive Joint…one of the stages

The Grotto! Another stage where we watched Eprom and danced our asses off

Our first Yoga class in the Movement Shala

Group hug after the Belly Dancing class

Some of the art at the Empire of Love


Some of the art at the Empire of Love

The Hub, they had information classes, comedy shows and a great place to hang out and eat in the shade

this one was one of my favorite. It was built like a ship and basically you could go in and sit and watch artists live while they painted these giant canvas’!

Watching the artists!

The places to sit- Sorry for the horrible quality…Iphones 🙁


Some of the art

Pyronauts performing!

These two were absolutely awesome!

Hanging out on the water 🙂

the Swimbiosis area…there was a stage w/a DJ on land but it was loud enough to be heard right in the water with all the floaties!

I could barely stay upright on my floatie and this guy was doing yoga poses on his paddleboard…

The shower line….which I waited in for 30 minutes before they announced they were out of water until later…

My Henna 🙂

Taking a nap!

If you need a moment to talk to God…there is a place for that.

Honestly…I could go on and on but really this post is long enough. Just know that I had the best time and feel amazingly refreshed, focused and happy.

On Friendships & SOs

September 17, 2015

I know this is a touchy subject for some but its something I have been wanting to blog about for awhile. I have varying experience with this topic. I’ve been the friend in a LTR, the single friend, the friend in a new relationship, the angry friend who is wondering where her friends are…I’ve played the roles.

First let me say that some of you may disagree and that is fine, I would love to hear your opinion(nicely of course) and I am not married so my advice comes purely from the place of experience in the boyfriend/girlfriend stages.

Being in a relationship and maintaining friendships is harder for some than others. The most important thing that needs to be considered or addressed (in my opinion) is not intentionally hurting anyone’s feelings. You shouldn’t have an SO that is feeling hurt, a friend that is feeling hurt and you shouldn’t be having your feelings hurt. There is no reason for that.

A lot of people will show me all these quotes and post all this bullshit on FB about how if someone is a good friend they will stick around and understand that you are in a relationship even when you don’t make time for them. I am here to say. NO. Sorry. That is not the case.

It does not make you a good friend to sit around and wait while someone does not place importance in your friendship.

AND

It does not make you a good friend to neglect a friendship because you met someone and fell in love/like.

Talk to some of your friends…you would be amazed how often this happens to people.

You can have both. We can all have both. It is possible. You should have a life that can include friendships and an SO. If your SO is making it so you can’t have friends well you might need to re-think that relationship. If you are the cause of the unraveling because you can’t imagine a life outside your relationship then well then don’t expect them to wait until you feel like trying.

Here are some suggestions I think really help on both sides:

1. Be HONEST – Be Straight forward and honest with both parties. Tell your friends if you can’t be the friend you were and why. Tell your SO why you need your friends in your life and time with them. Maybe your schedule only allows one free night a week and you would hate to not see your SO that night. Maybe you just really want to have them all together because they mean so much to you. Just get it all on the table.

2. Compromise – So maybe you can’t have girls night out 3x a week anymore. But you can always work something out whether its a weekly workout, g-chats, monthly dinner, double dates, group dates, netflix night w/the SO in the other room…something that can work for the both of you so that no one is left feeling neglected. Basically if you want to continue having a friendship and an SO you will need to make an effort for both.

3. Be fair – If you are the friend who is being neglected. Be fair. Not everyone does relationships the same way. You can’t be pissed at your friend if your weekly drunken boyquest doesn’t happen anymore. Make suggestions for things you know you both can do. Don’t rush to assume they don’t care anymore but also don’t sit on your feelings for months (I’m so guilty of doing this). Be ok with seeing their SO more than you had probably hoped and be willing to compromise.Most importantly for this though is to know that compromise is good but being a pushover is not. If you are not being valued as a friend then you shouldn’t be in that friendship.

With all that being said…there are exceptions to the rule.

If you just had kids (and your friends don’t) or even if they do but your a newbie, if your job has suddenly gone from 0-60 and you don’t have time to even pee, If you are moving out of state, or they just moved out of state, if your friend is unwilling to budge or compromise..etc…

Either way don’t be that person who gets in a relationship and stops being a friend. It is not ok.

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