Other - Café Con Monica

Go ahead judge me

March 24, 2011

Sometimes I am that girl…

you know the one walking down the street texting and not paying attention.

The one who looks like she is lost 90% of the time.

I am way behind on all the cool “Lingo”, always being picked on for not knowing what the hell someone is saying.

I am the girl that corrects someones grammar when they speak.

When I get really excited I let out a string of “OMG’s” and “totally’s” that remind everyone that I definitely did not grow up in the city proper.

My Spanish is should be better even though I look like someone who should be able to speak Spanish.

I love love Country music and have no real explanation for this, since I did not grow up in the country.

I get lost in music at the clubs and dance all by myself.

I talk to myself all the time, in the street, in the car, in the shower, at my desk.

I make notes on post-it’s then lose the post-it’s.

I like to party, hard, and make no apologies for this.

I love strangers, and am way too friendly.

I am that girl that will talk to the ugly old guy at the bar because he makes me laugh.

I smile wayyyy too much for my own good(does this lead to wrinkles?)

I stress about whether or not I will age badly even though my mother looks amazingly like a 25 year old.

I love babies but as soon as they cry I want the parent to take them out of the room.

I love movies and randomly quote from them all the time.

I love food! I would rather go to an expensive dinner than buy new clothes.

I try really hard to follow the newest trends in fashion but more often than not am 3 seasons behind.

I hate tequila, its the devil. Vodka and I have serious fights on a regular basis, I get my ass kicked in 90% of these fights.

I think dirty thoughts a little too much for my own sanity (Sorry Mom!)

I think people should not be rude. It’s an ugly trait. I may think you are stupid but you will never know because it would be just plain rude to tell you.

I follow crosswalk signs because I am terrified I will get run over.

I curse too much to be considered a lady.

I think Monogamy is a very terrible joke someone came up with in their spare time.

It makes me genuinely sad that I am now too old to audition for “The Real World”

I read a lot…like 3-4 books a week, about anything.

Not a day passes where I don’t debate if Teaching is the career I really want.

I love taking pictures, I have tons and tons of them…no clue what I will ever do with them either

I think we should all be a little less judgemental…I try my best!

I want a ton more tattoos but don’t want to look ridiculous.

I sweat a lot, I feel maybe an abnormal amount but I am told its not.

I hate combing my hair, it sucks!

I am inexplicably terrified of small boats and sharks. I guess this could be blamed on Jaws…but I don’t know for sure.

I make a million plans to do things and a vast majority of them never see the light of day.

I want to get married just because I want a big dumb wedding…I don’t know if I want a husband though.

Sometimes I laugh so hard that I snort and I fear I will pee myself.

I am sure there is much more to share but for now I think sums me up.

Originally this blog was written as a b**ch fest about all the things that have gone wrong with my upcoming trip to Miami. Then my friend, lets call her K, told me she was going to do her best not to complain about things that she agrees to do. Ahhhh yes that is something I should definitely apply to this trip. I chose to go, I chose to book at the hotel we are staying at, I chose to do all of this…therefore I do not get to complain.

In one day and some change I will be heading down to South Beach with a group of 9 other girls. This trip has been one of the hardest to plan of all the trips I’ve gone on with these girls. There have been days when I couldn’t help but think, I don’t want to go there anymore I’m changing my flight to somewhere else and telling the ridiculously expensive hotel to go “F” themselves. But, as you can see I just couldn’t do that…could you? Wayyy back in late summer last year when our friend sent out the invite for her big birthday celebration in Miami I could not wait, I was so excited. THEN we actually looked at prices, and got the first of many long emails detailing what the promoters had to say about getting into a club in Sobe. Let me just say, that if it was possible I would shove my foot up every last one of their…well you know what I am trying to say. Since we are going during Spring Break time it’s expected that to stay in a normally overpriced hotel you will have to pay double the already exorbitant nightly rate. Because most of the girls in this group are well above the 21 year Spring Break time age range it was not an option for us to pile 6 girls in a cheap room and call it a day.

The biggest problem that we had with this trip was we need 3 people to make the room a little less expensive and that 3rd person waited until last week to tell us that she will not be able to join us anymore and we will have to either find a 3rd roommate or pay her portion. Keep in mind, we have been planning this since last summer. I still love her and she has her reasons but that would normally have gotten someone a one-way ticket to “F U” land. Then, for some unexplainable reason this past week I broke out into hives. WHO SAW THAT COMING? Definitely not me! I gave up all the new things I had started doing and am popping Benadryl like candy. I am definitely remaining positive for this one!

BUT like I said before, the time has come. I have 7 different outfits for a 4 night trip because you never know what may or may not work the night of. I finally got a new swimsuit, you know those adorable monokini’s that are so fun. I have my carry on(refuse to check my bag) stuffed beyond its normal limits and my beach bag full of all kinds of junk. I am ready for 4 days on the beach with my girls, drinking and tanning and then some all night VIP style parties.

If you have never been on a trip with a group of girls I recommend you do it at least once. As long as you know the girls and can get along you will have an amazing adventure and make tons of memories. I am very excited and the only thing left on my list is to get a mani & pedi…isn’t that a great list?? I will be sure to let you all know how it went, maybe finally put some pictures up on this thing!

My Hotel:

South Beach better watch out!!

Sprucing myself up

February 21, 2011

So this weekend I decided to “spruce up” my resume. Excuse me, my CV. After reading plenty of tips, blogs and articles I learned that the American made resume is far from acceptable in other countries. First, they are almost always expecting a photo of you included. It is expected for you to include personal information, such as the fact that you are single or married, and you are 25(in my case). Since most of the people who are reading this or who I know grew up with the laws against any kind of discrimination in place, this info is definitely not appropriate for your resume. I don’t even know what a CV is so I am going to google the definition right now…stay tuned…

A curriculum vitae (CV, also spelled curriculum vitæ) provides an overview of a person’s life and qualifications. In some countries, a CV is typically the first item that a potential employer encounters regarding the job seeker and is typically used to screen applicants, often followed by an interview, when seeking employment.

Well well…now I know. Back to the point. I decided that my “CV” needed plenty of updating. I grabbed my regular old resume(I haven’t seen it in 3 years) and looked over it. Basically I need to add some very colorful wording to make it useful at this point. I proceeded to find something I did in every job that was directly related to or could even be remotely associated with the Education profession. If I taught an employee how to fill out paperwork I was putting it in as “Instructing employees on correct use of grammar in company projects.” Yes really, nonsense like that is supposed to help me! Of course, I do have some experience teaching not nearly enough to just put that on my CV and call it a day. So instead I embellish. Luckily I realized that the best way to improve myself on paper is of course to do things that look good on paper.

I decided to start tutoring people in learning English, studying for their citizen exam, or just regular conversational practice. Ooh yea, I am a genius! On top of this I volunteered for an Adult Literacy program. I know, it sounds terribly selfish of me to volunteer so that I can look better on paper. Don’t judge me. For the next 6 months I will be helping adults with reading levels of 4th graders and hopefully I will be helping someone out there get their GED! That being said, hell yea, it was a little selfish. I have not finished my Bachelor’s degree yet. I need all the help I can get.

Back to the CV, I thought to myself, I had better get a good picture of myself because all I have are Facebook pictures of my sexy profile in skanky clothes. Damn Facebook! I will work on this next. Per my conversation with my great friend today I have to avoid any crazy prints and definitely need to wear a shirt that is not strapless or tank top. I must be “profffesssional” yea, I said it. Professional. So now I have this amazing piece of paper with tons of great information about myself, maximizing all my wonderful teaching skills.

Oddly enough, this was kind of fun. Every little thing that makes this more real to me is very exciting. I am so happy class starts tomorrow!

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