Some things I have realized:

I place too much faith in people.

Online dating is scary and exciting at the same time.

It is going to be hard to find someone that will be as good to me as my ex.  

Even though I am feeling very needy and emotional I don’t need to find a guy to fix that

My best friend is a guy. I can’t tell you guys how many times he has told me all the ridiculous things he does to girls and all the games that he has played. If there is anyone I know that I should listen to when it comes to dating it is him. Do I? No! If he says don’t call, I call. If he says you have to give them a bit of a chase, I give too much. If he says your being too nice…I argue that I am not. The truth is, I am way too nice.

Case and point…after a month of talking to Cboy and thinking he was the next best thing to be introduced into my life I realized that I had placed too much faith in him. I can’t even really call it dating, I have no clue what he and I were really doing. It was friendly and very flirty and there was some cute teenage groping/makeout sessions involved but it didn’t get very far. I was convinced the universe was playing games with us(I’ll explain more on that later) and so it was mostly a lot of talking and getting to know each other. He comes with baggage…red flag #1, he has been screwed over by women and a very very recent ex…red flag #2 and he did this thing where he just disappeared….red flag #3. When you talk to someone all day and then they just disappear you start to worry. Or maybe I just start to worry. Anyway, he popped back up a couple days later and I told him how I was upset. It was discussed and understood. Guess what happened? He did it again…. G’s advice? Give it up, he is up to something and you don’t want any part of that. If only it was that easy right?

This all led me to realize that even though I was the one who broke up with The Boy I am still emotionally not prepared for the crap that happens when you are out in the dating world. I have to toughen up and get some wisdom. There is clearly something about me that attracts the kind of guys that have baggage(ie…kids, girlfriends, crazy ex’s) and I need to nip that junk in the butt from the beginning. I also need to remember that just because he seems nice doesn’t mean that he is and I don’t have to put up with any games.

I also realized that even though I would like to find the future Mr.____ I don’t really need to be on the quest for that right now. How would it make any sense to meet the man of my dreams a few months before I move  across the country?! So that is my man realization 101 for today.