Without friends I am not quite sure where I would be. I am the kind of person that needs socializing. I need the flow of conversation or even just having someone else to sit silently with. I know there are people who don’t really have many friends and sometimes I wonder how on earth they make it? Don’t they get lonely? There have been times when even with plenty of friends I find myself lonely so how does it work for them? The need for socializing and constant companionship has led me to make some not so bright friend choices. I have had the moochers, the ones that put you down, the ones that hold you back, the ones with too much drama, the ones that steal..etc.. I have also had some amazing friendships too. It’s sad to see a good friendship fall by the wayside as you get older. When life gets so busy that your only interaction is by text, facebook or email. You know you think about them all the time and promise yourself you will call them but it just doesn’t happen.
Making friends after College is so hard. In the real world you can’t scoot next to someone and make friends while making fun of the teacher. You can’t just walk up to a stranger and say “Hey, you look like you could be fun. Want to be friends?” I wish it was really that easy. After years of dealing with bad friends and flaky people I made it a mission to find some that friends and I did. I met some amazing people. I started these monthly dinners for just women. A way to try some of the amazing restaurants Chicago has to offer and get to meet some new people. I had a list of the type of people I wanted to meet in my head when I started this group.
1. Not crazy
2. Adults-21+(preferably my age or older)
3. working..or at least not broke
4. preferably without kids or enough kids to keep them busy all the time
5. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun.
6. Not obsessed with their boyfriends
7. No drama, not the type to pick a bar fight or start a fight at all
8. Not a thief…or as listed in #1 not crazy
9. adventurous
10. generally be a good person
I don’t think that’s a crazy list. I am not asking for supermodels friends or even famous friends. I am not asking for a strict moral code or even one that is extremely loose. Just good people, who can have a good time, don’t like to fight and are looking for another good person to be great friends with. Luckily for me out of the 100+ people became part of the group I met 4-5 amazing women. They are fantabulous! I know, I know..not a word. I have had some amazing times with them. It’s been three years now and I am realizing that everyone in the group has their own personality. While I may not be the best of friends with every person I love them each for their own qualities.
I can’t write a blog about friends without mentioning my best friend. Oddly enough I met him after HS and while attempting my first few years of College. As unlikely as it would have seemed we are going on 8 years as friends and I love him like a brother. I know it sounds crazy when I tell people but he will be my maid of honor and, no I promise you he is not gay. I have had my share of defending our friendship to boyfriends and family members. We’ve had our moments when without a doubt I could have strangled him but if something is on my mind he is the first person I would go to and know that even in his strange ways of dealing with things he will help me figure out how to fix it all.
As much as I love the friends I have, I don’t have just one “Everything” friend. Someone who loves all kinds of music, can do a bar just as easily as a club, will go someplace new with me just because I asked, can do a TV night in pj’s as easily as a high heels and LBD night. Most of my friends are into a specific kind of music scene, strictly club type and not the type you can call up and play a board game with. That’s OK with me, it’s like having a friend for every mood, but now after 3 years I am on the quest to find some “everything” people to add to the mix.
I guess the point of this whole post is just that for some people, myself included, friends are a must. Even the most anti-social of people have to have someone to share their lives with. Maybe your best friend is your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband and that is a great thing. We all need someone to bear witness to our successes and failures however big or small they may be.
